I'm not a couple.

July 18th, 2008 at 10:20 PM

And I am not planning on being part of a couple for a long time. But this guy that I met at the fireworks wants to hang out tomorrow with me. Soo, I said sure. We have plans or whatever to go to the beach. He calls me and apologizes for not texting back earlier, because I guess he left his cell phone home. I guess he felt the need to explain himself to me... Saying things, like he likes my voice and everything. And I'm starting to feel uncomfortable about us just hanging out. Because I think that he thinks it's some sort of date or something.

I don't know... I'll just clarify it tomorrow. But how do I do that with out seeming like a jackass?

July 18th, 2008 at 10:29 PM

I think everyone has their own ways and methods. Mine are perhaps brutal. I would simply make it certain I didn't want a relationship, only friends. I would tell someone as much. Pretty flatly and directly. Or you can try not so subtle hints. If you get too subtle you'll have a hard time faulting him later for not getting it.

July 18th, 2008 at 10:32 PM

Yeah, hopefully he annoys me or something tomorrow, so it's easier for me to explain myself with out me worrying whether or not what I am saying is hurtful to him or not. Lol.

I don't know when I first met him, we actually had a decent conversation. We've talked on the phone or texting other then that, and he hasn't mention sex once, I like how we actually conversate about ourselves other then a common human interest. You know? Lol.

July 18th, 2008 at 10:58 PM

It does get hard. I've been in that situation many times in the past 15 years because I refuse to date. Generally it becomes difficult if they have romantic interest. Friendship... that's a tough sell in those cases. Then they attempt to be friends hoping to win you over romantically. Not pleasant at all. Then you feel like you are the jerk for leading them on no matter how accidentally.

Yeah. I feel your pain. I've been there way, way too many times. Sometimes even directness or honesty doesn't work, they still delude themselves completely disregarding your warnings.

In those cases, I break off contact quickly as possible. I've hurt too many people. I never meant to. I don't want to hurt innocent people you know? I try to help them. Relationships have to be the most precariously balanced tightropes humans are forced to walk. Hard to know sometimes what the right thing to do is.

Just have to try to keep both eyes open and keep your empathy on full alert. Get ready to back out and fast, minimize damage if necessary.

Sorry hon, you are likely to run into this a lot in life.

July 18th, 2008 at 11:01 PM

I'm not trying to avoid relationships. I'm just not looking for one. I need a break after my last horrific relationship I had. I don't want to relive that. If I were to enter a relationship, it would be under very careful consideration and thought and trust. And, that would take a while for anyone to earn. But, for some reason, I just doubt he's my type. Lol.

July 18th, 2008 at 11:04 PM

after all this ! kreeesta can you trust anyone?

July 18th, 2008 at 11:05 PM

Originally posted by BOOM

after all this ! kreeesta can you trust anyone?

July 18th, 2008 at 11:06 PM

Well, if your suspicions are confirmed? You can always tell him just that. Casually work into the conversation that you recently had a relationship gone sour and don't want a relationship with anyone right now. You want to take time to sort things out for yourself. That should avoid bruised egos.

Conversely you could state that you were born a hermaphrodite and currently having gender identity issues, trying to decide which genitalia to keep after surgery. Might be thinking along the lines of male.

July 18th, 2008 at 11:07 PM

i didnt mean to hurt anyone here !! im out now

July 18th, 2008 at 11:09 PM

I.. I... feel so... wounded....

YOU BASTARD!

Toying with my...

July 18th, 2008 at 11:25 PM

I still don't know who that was.

I think I'm going with the second idea lol.

July 30th, 2008 at 5:17 AM

I've been in that situation before.
I just made an excuse up as to why I couldn't hang out with them.
Drifted off from talking to them, and when they finally mention something about it, I just tell em how it is.

July 30th, 2008 at 11:43 AM

Originally posted by BOOM

i didnt mean to hurt anyone here !! im out now

No Info

August 7th, 2008 at 12:46 AM

just tell him you dont want nothing serious but youre DTF.

August 7th, 2008 at 1:36 AM

He's totally getting laid.