marriage before baby?

September 10th, 2008 at 6:22 PM

My parents are really trying to make me get married before i have the baby. But me and my boyfriend dont wanna get married yet.

i wanted to know what everyone's take is on marriage before having a child. what would you do?

September 10th, 2008 at 6:27 PM

I don't think it matters.

I was married before pregnancy, but NOW I am getting a divorce, it's expensive.

Don't get married just for the baby.

Make sure you love him enough for your relationship to be "forever".

If not, you'll go through a lot of pain, heartbreak and what not.

It's really up to you guys. Not your parents. You're 20, you're an adult.

September 10th, 2008 at 6:29 PM

I know. im not listening to my parents but they wont give up. They keep bringing it up. but me and him pretty much know we arent getting married yet.

September 10th, 2008 at 6:29 PM

Just stick with it.

EDIT

They prolly just want you to get married so they don't look bad or something.

September 10th, 2008 at 6:31 PM

Depending on where you live, you might just be married due to common law.

Here in utah, if you're with someone for more than 6 months you can be considered married.

September 10th, 2008 at 6:34 PM

Have twins.

September 10th, 2008 at 6:34 PM

haha no we dont have that and i know they want me to get married to make them look good. but im an adult so i know i dont have to listen to what they say.

September 10th, 2008 at 6:49 PM

Personally, i think this marriage before baby is bullshit. I dont care if your married and having a baby makes you look better than not being married and having a baby.

Here's what i'd do in your situation, tell your parents to butt out, tell them you're not ready for marriage, to quit forcing it on you and your boyfriend, and to just accept it. You are 20, you're living your life and not theirs.

No Info

September 10th, 2008 at 6:52 PM

BTW, when i had my daughter, i was single. I broke up with my babys father just because of our living situations.

No Info

September 10th, 2008 at 6:54 PM

Seriously, just ignore them. They will want back in your life soon enough.

September 10th, 2008 at 7:02 PM

yeah i know. My parents are fucking old fashion. My mom isnt too bad but my dad is really bad about it. We havent talked in like two weeks just because im pregnant.

September 10th, 2008 at 7:08 PM

He'll get over it.

No Info

September 10th, 2008 at 7:09 PM

i know he will. and when he does, i'll talk to him. But im not gonna talk to him til he talks to me because he's just being stubborn.

September 10th, 2008 at 7:20 PM

I guess marriage before pregnancy is safer

September 10th, 2008 at 7:40 PM

Dont get it, how is it more "safe"?


Ohkay, so say you were married, you stay married for a while, your kid is about 5, and the relationship is going downhill. So your only choice is a divorce. So now your getting a divorce, not only are the parents suffering, the child is too.


So its a 50/50 situation whether you're married or not.

No Info

September 10th, 2008 at 7:42 PM

im not gonna get married because i dont wanna do it just because im pregnant. I'd rather get married when im ready and we have the money.

September 10th, 2008 at 7:49 PM

...should have a baby when you have money as well..


THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

September 10th, 2008 at 11:11 PM

we have the money but im on medical card which helps alot. we are starting to save now so we have lots of money when she/he is born.

September 13th, 2008 at 11:28 PM

It's all up to you. If you feel as if you need to ask others, you're not mature enough to make this decision yet and you should wait. Once you're confident enough, you'll make this decision on your own. Good luck though.

No Info

September 13th, 2008 at 11:39 PM

Have an abortion.

September 13th, 2008 at 11:58 PM

Marriage has nothing to do with baby-making. Unless you're Amish. Or Catholic. Or a part of any serious denomination that you take religious vows for.

This day and age not to many people stick to traditional methods and assert their 'freedoms' or 'individuality' (like it matters) and do whatever.

So hell, if you think you're ready for a baby then go for it.

Don't let a legal document and diamond ring stand in your way to happiness.

September 14th, 2008 at 12:28 AM

Originally posted by Truculent

Marriage has nothing to do with baby-making. Unless you're Amish. Or Catholic. Or a part of any serious denomination that you take religious vows for.

This day and age not to many people stick to traditional methods and assert their 'freedoms' or 'individuality' (like it matters) and do whatever.

So hell, if you think you're ready for a baby then go for it.

Don't let a legal document and diamond ring stand in your way to happiness.

September 14th, 2008 at 1:47 AM

Fuck that. If you're not ready for marriage, you're not ready for a baby. They both involve heavy commitment and a shitload of responsibility, compromising, and time.

Like I said... Have an abortion.

September 14th, 2008 at 1:59 AM

Get married before you even THINK about having a baby. That's the way it should be.
Don't have an abortion but just like he said if you'e not ready to get married then you're definitely not ready to have a baby.
TRUE.
Follow my advice, it will help you in the long run.

September 15th, 2008 at 2:11 PM

I think we are just gonna be engaged for a while. we were talking about it the other day.